Today was my youngest munchkins 2 1/2 year check (wow, where did those 2 1/2 years go?) The lovely health visitor that came to do the check was fantastic. She listened to everything I had to say and answered all my questions and concerns. Ollie is a very fussy eater and I was worried about his eating habits but Katie (Health visitor) listened and offered ideas and support. She then said something that I don’t think us Mums hear enough. She said….. “You are doing great, he is happy and healthy and doing really well, keep doing what you are doing.”
I think being a Mum is hard, our babies are born and the whole purpose of us as a person changes. Your life is no longer your own and you now have a little person who is completely reliant on you. You are their world, they rely on you for warmth, food, a safe environment and love and boy this can be overwhelming especially in those early months when sleep is non existent and hormones are all over the place. Those beautiful little babies that we dream about throughout pregnancy are born and handed over to us but they do not come with an instruction manual. It is up to us as mothers (and fathers) to do our best for our babies and our best is all we can do.
I have found that being a Mum is a constant battle of happiness and guilt. My children are my world but am I doing the best for them? Do I give them enough time? Am I good enough? Will they be proud to call me their Mum? I watch them play and I see two smart, caring, fun and beautiful little boys. I smile to myself and think they are mine, I made them and they are just perfect. But the guilt is always there and I know from talking to other parents that guilt is a massive part of parenting. The constant fight with ourselves of are we good enough?
Maybe this guilt is not such a bad thing, after all if we feel there is room to improve then we will seek ways to become the best we can be but I think we also need to be aware of what we achieve. My children are fed everyday (even if they don’t eat it grrrr), they have clean clothes, they are warm and dry and they are loved. No I don’t take them to lots of groups and they don’t go out every day but I am trying my best and my best is all I can do. Sometimes though I think we need that reassurance that we are good enough.
So this is to all the Mummies and Daddies out there…. YOU ARE DOING GREAT, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
Also I would like to make you aware that the health visiting team support you and your child until they go off to school so please contact them if you have any concerns or questions. I had taken Ollie to the doctor regarding his fussy eating but left without any help. After speaking to Katie (health visitor) today I have the confidence that I am doing the right thing for my Son and that I have a very helpful support network at the end of the phone. Ollie also liked Katie as she had stickers. Katie if you ever see this thank you for making me feel like I am doing a good job 🙂